Meni KoutsosimouArticle by: Meni Koutsosimou
Psychologist
Translation: Harriet Spala
Once upon a time a wicked witch found a prince and turned him into a frog until a beautiful princess kissed him to break the spell and turn him again into a handsome attractive prince…
Anyone might wonder… which beautiful princess, would feel the need to kiss a green slimy frog, even if he promised after the kiss, that he would appear in front of her as the most handsome man on Earth and all its kingdoms? Furthermore… are we sure that all people can change even if you show them your best self?
Let’s start from the beginning…
The frog at first must manage to draw the attention and interest of the beautiful princess. A very difficult task to do, if anyone considers that “the frog” is not the most attractive animal –maybe that’s why the storywriter chose a frog and did not write instead of a proud horse, a playful cat or any other animal that would attract the princess’s attention favor easier. The beautiful princess after that, must find all the elements necessary that will make her want to kiss the frog and possibly these elements have nothing to do with the frog’s appearance but with its character!
Here comes the hard part…
So returning to the present, if the “frog” lived today the chances it would have to find a beautiful princess to kiss him and break the spell and turning him again to a handsome prince would be nil. Yes true we have many “beautiful princesses” but I seriously doubt that any of them would want to kiss a good hearted but ugly frog unless of course this frog was filthy rich!
Who is this frog anyway?
The frog symbolizes the ugly dark side of man. Transformations and changes seem to be events happening during the people’s complete development, a natural diagram of pursuits, adjustments, of new necessary to obtain balance, of passing impressions and possible rising concerns mirrored more or less through stereotyped or not behaviors and expressions, personal- individual and collective-social. All above mentioned become assumptions to be negotiated and considered, through fairy tales and storytelling around the world, where everything can be discussed under the safe pseudo-consent and simultaneously distant phrase with which all stories begin: “Once upon a time…” The variety of the stories and fairy tales around the world is amazing, as each story deals with many issues.
What would happen if the story ended in a completely different way?
That being the “beautiful princess” finding along her way the most handsome the most attractive prince who, apart from her, all the beautiful princesses in the world would want to kiss and as soon as the moment of the kiss came, the prince transformed to the fattest, ugliest and most appalling frog from the entire swamps on Earth? She would have to pay the price of taking a wrong decision, a decision many “beautiful princesses” make, who find awful any external ugly appearance and reject it, even if this frog carried inside the whole world’s beauty and prefer instead the prince who has everything, and at some point in time to discover that its worst to hide an ugly frog in a prince than a prince inside a frog…
I wish the fairy tales followed a reversed course…
Only the ones true in their hearts would survive, the rest would have to sleep together with ugly frogs thinking they are princes. The same goes undoubtedly for the wicked witch who thinks that she has the power to spread evil. Self mockery is the worst thing that can happen even worse not even realizing how ridiculous you have been… Being frivolous is safe in good times, but when the going gets tough the people who are frivolous are the first to accumulate loss.
There is something untold in each story
We have all experienced sorrows: deaths, separations, disdain, cancellations, and all sorts of loss. The greatest the sorrow the hardest it is to express it openly that is why we hide it deep in our unconscious mind. “We shall lie” through the fairy tales and stories as they have hidden meanings of painful truth, our truth or someone else’s truth that we have chosen to “forget” yet this painful truth haunts us… this is the best way to talk about sorrow and cure it.
An erotic whisper in the bustling world is the fairy tale…
Τhis is where the magic lies… the reasonable and unreasonable which explains the truth symbolically. Today, more than ever before, while we are bombarded with all sorts of images through adds, from fast food images to works of art, the images of fairy tales and stories stay around us and try to stay alive through our words and actions. Fairy tales and stories are good for us. There is no unhealed wound and it is true. Fairy tales and stories heal us from wounds, they strengthen and comfort us. They teach us “forgiveness” for anything that is worth forgiving.
The fairy tale or story is symbolically a human evolution line
An evolution that begins normally as in all fairy tales with our birth and love we receive. As soon as we stand and begin to walk, gradually prohibitions begin, just as our responsibilities and obstacles. We all have loss in our lives and beautiful moments. Sometimes we focus on loss or other times in beautiful moments. Let’s remember that the hero or heroine that focuses and is trapped in loss, dies. We all sometimes hit rock bottom, the place where we begin to rise. We rise gradually and often we take two steps forward and one step back. Whoever takes steps towards self-knowledge becomes a better person but is organically depleted until their final levitation, the moment of full recovery, it being the moment of death.
So what does that transformation entail…
The magical point of change, between high and low … but not for all of us
In order for anyone to transform, they must leave the place of mourning (which coincides with our childhood) and to walk through transformation towards adulthood. The prince lost everything anyway. This is what the fairy tales explain to us: to stop mourning, to escape the traps of sorrow, to find courage and move forward whatever the cost of doing so. It’s the only way to independence, to self-knowledge. Towards the authentic of what really is and not what appears to be authentic. As misery is in its heights, as we suffer from xenophobia, as we remain self-centered, I believe that people must go back and find values that today are forgotten.
The only thing that keeps me hanging on in this fake world is the fact that I am my own Truth…
I was a child that never heard any lies. I grew up in a cocoon of Truth. Everything shut within me with boundaries like the 19th century story where Truth and Lie supposedly once met. Lie told the Truth: “it’s a beautiful day today”. Truth had to make sure so it looked around, up in the sky and yes the day was indeed beautiful. They walked together for a while until they reached a well full of water. The Lie dipped its hand in the water and told the Truth: “Nice warm water. Would you care for a swim?” Truth hesitated again. Truth tried the water and it was indeed warm. So they both got into the water and swam for some time when the Lie suddenly jumped out of the well, put Truth’s clothes on and disappeared. Truth got out of the well angry and running naked everywhere tried to find the Lie to take its clothes back. Whoever saw the naked Truth, looked away either from shame or anger. Poor Truth ashamed went back to the well and stayed in there forever. Since that time the Lie walks about in Truth’s clothes, satisfying the world’s whims who don’t even want to listen about the naked Truth.
Fairy tales and stories are great but I have chosen Truth a long time now.
Who would like to kiss frogs? Simply put each person’s transformation is their own business. Not everyone changes – why should they anyway?
To become a frog you must have done something bad…
Or it symbolizes something significant in your own personal journey… anyway.
For one thing I am sure in this life.
Everyone is entitled to “change”… yet only a few deserve it.
The ones that “cash it” in even fewer!
Will you tell me a bed- time story?
I will tell you a secret instead…
It is important to know who you are…
It’s the only thing that counts anyway!