Article by: George Fragakis
Psychologist – Psychotherapist
Translation: Harriet Spala
I consider life a great journey, a journey throughout the sea. I chose the sea because I have the feeling that people hold in their genes its rhythm, its waves and its versatile nature. Men have learned to expect a lot from the sea, to bring back loved ones, to transfer them to better places to live or even bring terrible disasters. Men learned to be prepared to the versatile nature of the sea, yet have they learned to do the same with their own lives?
Life often goes through high and low tides and that is when most people feel devastated, full of agony. Unsolved problems, difficulties, failures, create negative feelings; they get stuck in vicious circles, or feel exasperated and unworthy. It is then when they long for a floating plank to grab on as recourse, and these floating planks are people who have proven that they can stand by them with love and care. These saviors are distinguished not only by their mere presence but because they have the ability to encourage in such a way that they offer the power to “escape” from the current emotional chaos. These people are great listeners and will listen to all that must be told. People who stand by the ones in need so much that you get the impression that they share together all burdens.
A wish for happiness has always been a motive behind anything we might want to do. Whenever anyone is completely satisfied and full of beautiful feelings, then this person is so immensely happy that habits and boundaries fade away and lose their meaning. The eyes of happy people shine, their bodies are alert and there is a constant feeling making them want to embrace the whole world! Every time I feel happy I keep on thinking that this feeling ought to be the permanent and sole motive for anyone to live.
Every time a person falls deeply in love, he/she feels many moments of this immense happiness. It’s not easy for this person to “part” from their loved one’s image in their mind, he/she remembers every part of their significant other’s body, he/she wishes to share every moment together and often wish they could convert forever casually their paths. Sometimes, when I watch people who are in love, even myself, I feel like they live differently all the situations around them. Like a blank paper that turns into a love letter and any clothing worn is chosen specifically to attract their loved one’s attention.
However in love affairs, the adrenaline which creates beautiful thoughts is not enough and it is very important to be able to turn to our partner and ask for support during hard times. This is considered a fundamental tool for a successful relationship. To know that we can at any time turn to our partner for support without a second thought and this ability can offer many times lots of information regarding our love affair. Can the mere presence of our partner act as support? Maybe, although I often wonder: “Where am I” in difficult situations like these?
There are moments where I feel warmth and I feel complete when I allow myself to feel that there is someone who accepts me as I am and cares for me. I have also noticed though, that sometimes this is hard for many people. Many tend to hide the positive feelings that are offered to them. Their reaction is like: “Who is this? There is no way on earth he could possibly care for me!” As if there is an obstacle that prevents them to accept warm and heartfelt feelings from others. So, although it is a fact that people wish to be loved and cared for from their partners, often they feel difficulty in accepting it.
Nevertheless, no matter how hard I find it, I feel enriched every time when I can truly care or love another person and when I allow this feeling to be understood by my partner. As if there is another path hidden within the thick grass, it is a path I got to know these past years and looking back I realize how enriched I have become. Trailing on that path where I do not argue with myself but rather walk my way through, I realize that the more I let myself go towards the people I relate the less scared I feel to reciprocate or accept positive feelings. As a result today I am much more capable to really appreciate the people around me and this for me is one of the greatest achievements of man.
One of the most valuable feelings I have is that I appreciate another person similarly to the way I appreciate the sea. People are just as marvelous as the sea as long as I “allow” them to be. In reality maybe this is because I cannot change the sea. Whenever I look at the sea, just as I gazed the day before yesterday, I do not hear myself say “tοne down with pal blue paint strokes near the rocks and add some turquoise”. No I don’t do it. I do not try to change the sea. I gaze at the sea with awe as it spreads in front of me. I feel great satisfaction because I know how to deal with my relationship, my family, my friends and myself exactly so. This is how I let go and letting go leads me where my soul is freed from the burdens of logic and fear.